The Inadvertent Aquisition
by adelaidybug
Summary: What Claudia is experiencing isn't the stomach flu... How will she and the other agents respond? Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**I had a blast writing this story and hope you enjoy it!**

**I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters, only this story.**

* * *

"Okay, I'm going to kill whoever gave me the stomach flu. We're talking murder in cold blood, here," Claudia grumbled as she trudged into the kitchen.

"Wasn't me" said Pete, putting up his hands in an innocent manner and chewing his cereal. "I'm as healthy as a horse."

"Need some water?" Myka smiled kindly at the girl.

"Yeah, that'd be good." Claudia leaned on the counter, feeling rather weak. Myka ran the tap for a moment, then filled the glass and handed it to Claudia. As Steve rounded the corner into the kitchen, Claudia took the water and eased herself into a chair, wincing and holding her irritable stomach.

"What's the matter, Claude?"

"Stomach flu."

"Aw, sorry."

"It's fine," Claudia said with a heavy sigh. "I think I'll go lie down." The girl made her way slowly up the stairs, and then laid down for two hours. When she awoke, she felt much better and drove over to the warehouse to get some work done.

"Claudia, what are you doing here? I thought you were dying of some disease," Artie said sarcastically as he tinkered with some invention on the table.

"I feel fine now, old man."

"Hmmm... a ploy to sleep in an extra hour I wouldn't doubt."

"Dude, I threw up like two hours ago."

"Fine, fine. Just don't get me sick." he said with a glare.

* * *

The next morning, Claudia woke up a bit queasy, but after a few moments it subsided and she walked sleepily down to breakfast. It was Abigail's turn to cook, and she had made pancakes, sausage, and hash browns for everyone.

"Hey Claude, how are you feeling this morning?" Steve asked as the redhead sat down at the table.

"Better. Must've been the twenty-four-hour flu or something."

"Glad to hear it. Well, the getting part, anyway," he said, scooping two sausages onto his plate and handing her the tray. The smell of the spicy, greasy sausages hit her nostrils and her stomach lurched. She got up, tripped and nearly fell, regained her footing and stumbled to the bathroom. She barely had time to get to the toilet before her stomach rejected its contents. When she finally came out of the bathroom, Steve was waiting for her.

"Claude, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Jinksy. Must not be over that flu yet."

* * *

The third morning in a row Claudia got the pukes, she began to get nervous. So later that morning, she asked Steve to driver her to the clinic in Univille. They took a few blood samples, had her wait for a bit, and then called her into the room again, asking Steve to wait outside.

"Well, what's wrong with me?" Claudia asked as she walked in.

"Miss Donovan, you may want to sit down."

"I'm fine right here. Just tell me."

"Okay. Well, we ran your blood tests, and they came back showing that you're pregnant."

"What?!" Claudia heard a roaring in her ears just before she passed out.

* * *

**Well, what did you think? Thanks for reading, and please review! The next chapter will be up soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter! Enjoy. I still own nothing from Warehouse 13 besides this story.**

* * *

"Claudia, wake up." Steve's voice filtered in.

She opened her eyes.

"Jinksy, thank God! I had this dream that I went to the doctor's office and they told me I was- oh crap. I'm still here."

"Yeah, the nurse said you passed out. What happened?"

"Ughh." Claudia grabbed her head with her hands.

Steve's face drained of color. "Is it serious?"

"Well, kind of..."

"Like how bad?" She could tell he was terrified.

"Relax, Jinksy. It's not life-threatening or anything. It's just..."

"What?"

"Erm... uh..."

"Oh... is it like a... lady problem?"

"Gah, no!" She punched him in the arm.

"Well, I don't know! What is it Claude? Just tell me."

"The doctor said that I 'm... pregnant." She blurted out the last word speedily.

"Oh... Wow"

"Yeah," Claudia said.

"_Wow,_" he said in a more profound tone.

"Yeah..."

"Wow!" He was almost yelling. "Um...uhh..."

"Wow?" Snarkiness filled Claudia's voice.

"Yeah... Uh, let me go get the doctor. He said to get him when you woke up."

"Okay."

He came back a moment later with the doctor.

"How are you feeling, Miss Donovan?"

"I'm still trying to figure out how the hell this happened..."

"You know, condoms and birth control aren't always effective," the doctor said in an almost antagonizing tone.

"I know _that. _But I never...uh..."

"Never what?"

"I never had sex!"

Steve raised his eyebrow at this, surprised to find she was telling the truth.

"That's impossible," the doctor stated emphatically.

"Well, it's true. Maybe your test is wrong." She stared at him, chin jutting out defiantly.

"We can run the test again, but generally they're very accurate. Would you mind if I did a few additional tests on you?"

"No, go ahead."

"I'll be back," he said, leaving.

"Artifact," Claudia and Steve both said simultaneously.

"You want me to call Artie?"

"Hell no. I should call him myself. I still just..."

"I know."

The redhead pulled her Farnsworth out of her pocket.

"Well, are you dying?" Artie answered, somewhat annoyed at the disturbance.

"Um, not exactly." Claudia was already wincing and Artie's face went from exasperated to worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, Artie, do you happen to know of any artifacts that cause pregnancy?" Claudia flinched and looked away.

"What?" Artie asked softly.

"I'm pregnant. The doctor has to run some more tests, but he's pretty sure."

Artie stared at her for a long moment, then set the Farnsworth down and began tapping away at the keyboard. "I'll look in the fertility section. Why don't you... finish things up there, and come back to the Warehouse so we can sort this out?"

"Okay," Claudia said and hung up.

"You okay, Claude?" Steve put a hand on her arm.

"Yep, I'm fine. Just another day of getting whammied by artifacts."

The doctor came in a few minutes later, asking Steve to step outside, and ran a series of tests on Claudia, confirming she was pregnant, and giving her tons of literature and phone numbers. Finally, Claudia and Steve left and were very quiet on the car ride back.

* * *

"Hey, find anything?" Claudia strode into the office.

"No... All the fertility artifacts either require the subjects to deliberately use them, or someone else to use them. Anyone want Claudia to be pregnant?" he asked the surrounding agents, who all shook their heads. "Apparently, this is of more... natural causes," he said, glaring at her.

"But I didn't do anything!"

"She's telling the truth," Steve backed her up.

Artie was about to respond when Mrs. Frederick appeared out of nowhere.

"She's right, Agent Neilson. This is not of her own doing."

Claudia stared at the woman. "What do you know about this?"

Mrs. Frederick sighed. "It's the Warehouse's baby."

"Wait, what?"

"This happened once before, a long time ago. The Warehouse needs someone in-tune with it. Someone who is fluent in its own language. Like Leena."

"But what about you and me, Mrs. F?"

"We are caretakers, Agent Donovan. What the Warehouse wants is a child."

"Are you saying Leena was," Pete started.

"A child of the Warehouse." Myka finished, eyes wide.

"Yes, she was."

"So the Warehouse chose_ me_ to be its baby mama?"

"That is one way of putting it. You are this baby's biological mother, and it's father is the Warehouse."

Claudia slumped into a chair.

"Huh, I always thought the Warehouse was a chick," Pete said, staring up at the ceiling.

"It's technically gender neutral." Artie mumbled.

"I know it is a lot to take in, but I felt it was best that you all know," Mrs. Frederick stated calmly.

"So this kid... is it going to be normal? Like will it come out speaking Freakinese?" Claudia was staring at her stomach.

"It will grow and behave the same as any other child. The only difference is it will be in tune with the warehouse. Have courage, Agent Donovan. I believe you will make a fine mother."

"Mother... I'm gonna be a mom..." Claudia was in shock.

"Congrats, Claude." Pete smiled rather awkwardly, and Steve and Myka followed suit with congratulations

"How many weeks are you?" Myka asked.

"Six. That's what the doctor said."

"Well, I believe you all have work to do," Artie blurted out suddenly, obviously unsure how to handle his surrogate daughter being pregnant. The agents dispersed and Claudia and Artie were left in the office.

"Congratulations, Claudia."

"Yeah, thanks gramps." She realized what she had said and laughed nervously. "I guess you really will be a gramps in," She counted silently, "seven and a half months."

"Yeah, I guess I will," Artie replied in a distant voice, and they both began working in silence.

* * *

The redhead awoke the next morning to a gentle knocking on her door.

"Come in," she said, still half-asleep. Myka came in, holding a tray. "What's this?"

"Well, I thought the mommy-to-be might need breakfast in bed, since breakfast downstairs hasn't been working so well."

"But you hate making breakfast! You did this for me?"

"It's no big deal."

"Thanks Myka."

"You're welcome."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please review and also let me know if you have ideas for this story line!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters. Thanks for all the feedback, readers! I enjoy hearing from you!**

* * *

One morning, Claudia bounded into the kitchen, yelling "Guys, guys!"

"What is it, Claudia?" Myka asked, smiling at the girl's enthusiasm.

"I've got a baby bump!" She exclaimed, lifting her tank top and grinning from ear to ear. Sure enough, her stomach was decidedly rounded out.

"Aww, Claude it's adorable!" Myka gushed.

"Kind of matches Pete's." Abigail said, glaring at Pete, who had come down without a shirt on.

"Hey!" Pete protested, mouth full of food.

"How many weeks is it now?" Steve admired the baby bump

"Ten weeks." Claudia grinned, pulling her shirt back down over her stomach and grabbing a slice of bacon. "And man, am I ever getting cravings."

"Such as?" Jinksy asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Nothing too weird," she mumbled, searching through the refrigerator.

"What are you looking for? I put syrup on the table," said Abigail.

"Oh, I know. Nevermind." Claudia scooted her way around the table to her seat, trying to hide what she had gotten from the fridge.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Oh, nothing." Pete snatched two containers out of her hands.

"Aww nasty, Claude. Sour cream and pepperoni on your pancakes?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I was going to put some syrup on them too."

Everyone groaned.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore," Pete mumbled as he watched Claudia spread the sour cream over her pancakes, and carefully place 3 pepperonis on each one.

* * *

Claudia was lying on the table for her 13-week ultrasound with Dr. Vanessa. The agent hated hospitals and felt far more comfortable in a back room of the Warehouse, surrounded by Myka, Pete, Steve, and Artie, than in a clinic.

"Well, would you look at that," Dr. Calder exclaimed, rubbing the wand through the goop on Claudia's pelvis.

"What? What's wrong?" Claudia searched the screen with an anxious face.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. In fact, Claudia, you're having twins!"

"What?"

Vanessa probed a bit more and pointed to the screen. "See there?"

"Holy crap! There's two of them?"

"Yes, congratulations!"

"You're going to get _so _huge, Claude," Pete said.

"Oh geez. There all good right? The right size, and everything? One's not eating the other?"

"They look just right." Vanessa replied, smiling at the redhead.

"Twins. I'm having... twins." She glared up at the Warehouse and pointed her finger accusingly. "_You_ did this to me." Her snarl gave way to a helpless grin as she stared at the screen. "Twins. Two of them."

* * *

Claudia walked into Myka's room one morning saying,"hey, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure, Claude. What is it?"

"Could you... uh... go shopping with me? I'm pretty much busting the seams of my largest pair of jeans and stretching out all my shirts, but I'm not really a shopping kind of girl. I mean, maternity clothes are always so grown up and mature, you know? And I'm just so... You know... Not."

"I'd love to, Claudia." Myka smiled.

Later that day, they went shopping together at a maternity store with an obnoxiously punny name. Myka helped Claudia pick out a few tops that were professional-looking, yet also pretty bad-ass, along with a few pairs of pants, and two tee-shirts which Claudia absolutely insisted on getting. One said "cautionary whale," and the other said "touch it and die," with an arrow pointing at her baby bump.

"These are great," Claudia gushed excitedly.

"You _sure _about those two shirts, Claude?"

"Yes. Positive," she said, grinning.

* * *

"Abigail?"

"Yes, Claudia?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure."

"Well, once the babies are born, they're going to take up a lot of room. And my room is already sorta jam-packed... so,"

"Don't worry, Claudia, I've already cleaned up the empty room next to yours, and asked Mrs. Frederick about putting a connecting door in."

"Wow, really?"

"Yes."

"Thanks Abigail." Claudia hugged the woman, getting a little teary. "Sorry. Stupid hormones."

"It's okay, Claudia."

The younger agent gave her another quick hug, then sauntered off.

* * *

Steve crept downstairs at an ungodly hour one night for a glass of water. He was about to turn on the tap when he heard a sniffle come from the living room. Going to investigate, he found a tousled Claudia curled up on the couch with her "Tigger" mug full of hot chocolate and a plate of cookies, crying and watching Mission Impossible 2.

"I've never really thought of MI 2 as a tear-jerker. What's wrong?"

"Nothin." She swiped at her tears quickly.

"No, something," he persisted.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Being a mom."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Pretty damn scary."

"I know." He put an arm around her.

"Steve, what if I end up like a really awful mother, or go crazy on the kids, or don't know how to take care of them right because I'm frakking 21 years-old, and should be in college or traveling, or making stupid choices, not pregnant with twins. And what if-"

"Claude- Claude!" Steve finally got her to stop rambling. "I think you'll make a great mom."

"Really?" She was incredulous.

"Yes. Really."

"I guess I just... Don't know how to be a mother. You know, I didn't have one for very long."

"Every parent struggles with knowing what to do, Claude. You kind of have to figure out what works for you. It's not like you have to parent like anyone else or have to suddenly turn into this matronly woman who pushes around a pram and wears her hair in a bun."

"Yeah, I guess not," she said, unconvincingly.

"Claude, look at me. I believe in you. You're going to do awesome."

"Thanks Jinksy." She smiled.

"No problem."

She offered him a cookie, and they sat and watched mission impossible together in comfortable silence, Claudia occasionally rubbing her growing belly.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Please review, and let me know if you have any ideas for this or other stories! **

**P.S. Did you catch my reference from "Juno?"**


	4. Chapter 4

**I was wishing Todd would come back to the show the other day, and couldn't resist adding him to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Warehouse 13 besides this story.**

* * *

Claudia was 20 weeks pregnant and was nagging at Steve to come to the grocery store with her.

"Come on, please?"

"Claude, I've got paperwork."

"Jinksy, your pregnant best friend is in desperate need of chocolate-covered jalapenos. Would you really deny such a cute face?" She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

He sighed. "Fine, you win. But if I get in trouble with Artie, I'm blaming it on you and your jalapeños."

"Hey, don't blame it on me, it's the babies' fault!"

"Which is the Warehouse's fault."

"So basically you can say it's official Warehouse business." She smiled gleefully and dragged him out to the car.

* * *

They walked around the store, Claudia putting random items into the cart, when all of a sudden, she turned quickly back around a corner, nearly causing Steve to hit her belly with the shopping cart.

"Hey, careful! What's the deal?"

"Shhh." Claudia pressed her finger to her lips and stared down the aisle.

"What's wrong, Claude?"

"T-t-todd," she stammered.

"Who?"

"Todd! You know, hot guy I used to date who got relocated with the witness protection program?"

"Oh, yeah. He's here?"

"Yeah. He's in the main aisle," she said, pointing.

"Well, go say hi!"

"Uno problemo, senior."

"What's that?"

She pointed to her baby bump. "Uh, this."

"Oh, he doesn't know about the warehouse, does he?"

"No, so he'll think I've screwing around. Not exactly how I want to say hi to the guy for which I still have a major... thing."

"Ahh. Okay, we'll try to avoid him." They wove their way through the store, trying to elude Todd, but met their demise at the cash register.

"Claudia?" A voice came from behind them in line.

"Oh, Todd, hi! Funny meeting you here." She tried to sound surprised, but failed miserably. Todd's eyes wandered to her obviously pregnant belly.

"So, how have you been?"

"Uh, good! You know, keeping busy." She realized how that sounded, and added "with work! You know, the IRS never sleeps... uh, because of work." Her mortification-with-self level was rising steadily.

"Yeah. So um... You're pregnant."

"No, I just gained a lot of belly fat."

He laughed. "When are you due?"

"January. It's twins. That's why I'm already huge. Uh, Todd, this is Steve."

"Hi, nice to meet you," Steve said, shaking Todd's hand.

"Yeah, you too." He seemed uncomfortable. "Well, congratulations to you both."

"Wait, what?" Claudia was confused. "Oh, he's not the babies' dad!"

"He's not?"

"No, I'm gay!"

"Yeah, he is!" Both were practically yelling. "Oh my gosh, this is my partner from work, not the father of my children!"

"Okay. Sorry, it's a little confusing."

"No, it's fine." Claudia put her palm to her forehead in exasperation. "How are you, Todd?"

"I'm good. Obviously, I'm back in town now."

"Yeah, what's up with that?"

"My case with the Witness Protection Program is finally closed, so I decided to move back here."

"Cool. Well, I guess I'll see you around then."

"Yeah, I'm working at the tech store again."

"Awesome."

Steve and Claudia turned around and payed the store clerk, who had finished scanning their items, and walked out.

"Most awkward thing ever." Claudia said through her hands as they drove home.

Steve laughed. "Maybe next time you're at the tech store, you can let Todd know you're not currently in a relationship."

"I didn't say that?"

"Nope. Pretty sure he thinks you're still with the babies' daddy."

"Augghhh!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading, and please let me know if you have any ideas for this or other stories! I love to hear from you guys. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of it's characters, only this story.**

* * *

Claudia was 25 weeks pregnant, and as she started down the stairs, she held her back with one hand and the rail with the other. Her bump was steadily growing, and since the rest of her was still so small, she had become terribly off balance.

"Ugh," she moaned as she slumped into a chair in the kitchen.

"Hey Claude, you're starting to do the mom waddle." Pete grinned at her from across the table.

"Great." She yawned. "They must've been having a kegger in there, because they kept me up _all_ night." She yawned again as Artie entered. "Hey old man, what are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet you at the Warehouse?"

"Shouldn't you be taking it easy?"

"I'm pregnant, not dying. Geez."

"Yes, but stress and physical labor aren't good for you," he said in a concerned voice. His awkwardness at the beginning of the pregnancy had disappeared, and he was now overly caring and a bit mother-hen-like. It was cute, but Claudia really wanted to be treated as normal.

"But physical and mental exercise _are _good for me." She mocked his tone.

"Fine, but you're staying in the office."

She grumbled about it, but was glad to still be allowed to work.

* * *

Pete and Myka were on an assignment, and Steve, Artie, and Abigail were deep in the aisles of the Warehouse, dealing with some mysterious artifact disturbance, leaving Claudia to do her thing with the computers. Her Farnsworth buzzed and she answered it.

"'Sup geezer?"

"I need you to look up the history on King Sandwich's original sandwich."

"Got it," she said, typing rapidly. "Okay, says here the king was really into-" she was cut off by a sudden odd feeling in her abdomen, and she closed her eyes, gritting her teeth.

"What's wrong, Claudia?" Artie asked frantically.

"Nothing. Probably just indigestion."

"I told you not to put that chili powder on your waffles, but would you listen to me? Of course not," he said exasperatedly.

"Yeah, yeah, you can lecture me more later. Anyway, the king was into chess and had a really long- game, and- he-" Claudia doubled over. "Ow," she choked out, holding her belly.

"Claudia, what the hell is happening?"

"Uh- I think-it's a- contraction." She wasn't in intense pain, but it was very uncomfortable, and she was having trouble staying calm.

"We'll be there as soon as we can," Artie said, hanging up and running as fast as he could to the golf cart. He yelled at Steve and Abigail to hop on, and they sped toward the office. Five minutes later, they arrived, finding Claudia crumpled up on the floor.

Artie called Dr. Vanessa and turned the screen toward Claudia.

"Hey, what's happening?" Vanessa asked softly, as Artie kneeled down next to the redhead.

"It feels like a contraction. I think. I mean, I don't really know what a contraction feels like, but I'm guessing it has something to do with muscles contracting, and that's what this feels like, and HOLY CHEESEBALLS this does not feel good."

"Claudia, I think what you're experiencing is Braxton-Hicks contractions. They're like practice contractions to get your body used to it. I know it's very uncomfortable, but it's very normal, and you're going to be okay."

"You sure I'm not dying or something?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Steve, Artie, why don't you two help her up. It can be helpful to move around, and maybe get something to eat and drink to help the contraction pass."

"Okay, talk to you later Vanessa," Artie said, and hung up. They helped Claudia up, and Abigail brought her some cookies and milk. Soon, the contraction was over, and the girl wiped at her sweaty brow.

"Hey, not too bad for your first contraction. Labor's going to be a piece of cake," Abigail said, smiling.

"Ha. Easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to push two babies out your-"

"Still here!" Pete interjected loudly from across the room.

* * *

3 weeks later, Dr. Vanessa was doing a routine exam on Claudia.

"Wow."

"What? What's wrong?" She held her belly protectively.

"Your effacement has progressed very rapidly since your last exam. It's not something to be very concerned about, especially with twins, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you on strict bedrest."

"Say what now?"

"Moving around a lot could result in a very early labor, and we want those babies to be healthy. So I'm going to ask you to only get up when necessary, such as for meals, showers, etcetera."

"Seriously?" Claudia whined.  
"Yes."

"Crap. What am I going to do with myself for another-" she counted, "9-12 more weeks?"

Vanessa just laughed and sent her home to rest.

* * *

Late one night during Claudia's 31st week, Artie sat in the living room eating a pint of ice cream and watching reruns of "I Love Lucy," when he heard shuffling in the kitchen and the tap running.

He entered the kitchen and found Claudia sitting on a chair, sniffling a bit and watching the flame under the tea kettle on the stove.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on bedrest," he said rather quietly, noticing the tears slipping down the girl's cheeks.

"The babies keep kicking me in the ribs and keeping me up. And I've just been thinking."

"Were you thinking about anything specific?"

The girl sniffled again. "I was thinking about raising the babies all by myself. And not having a husband or parents to be there when I'm so tired and crazy that I start diapering the watermelon and putting the babies in the fridge." The old man put his hand on the weeping girl's shoulder, realizing once again that she was just barely an adult herself.

"Claudia," the man said, pausing to gather his thoughts. "I know you feel alone in this." He paused again, and the girl's body shook with a sob. He hated seeing her cry. "But we are all here for you. I may be rather inept when it comes to children, but I will try to be the same as any grandpa for your kids."

"Really?" She gave him a watery smile.

"Of course. And they'll have two fun uncles and three caring aunts, and of course your brother as a more conventional uncle, and Mrs. Frederick to scare them into behaving, and they'll have the Warehouse... But most importantly, they'll have you as their mom. And you'll have all of us." The girl hugged Artie rather awkwardly, her huge belly between them.

"Hey, want to come into the living room and lay down? 'I Love Lucy' is on."

"Sure." she grabbed her tea and followed him into the living room, laying down on the couch. Artie sat in a chair beside her, and the girl closed her eyes. She seemed to have fallen asleep, but soon made a face and put her hand on her tummy, shifting slightly.

"Hey there," he murmured, "you should let her sleep. She needs her rest." He put his hand tentatively on her belly and felt fluttering kicking. Claudia groaned softly.

"Hear me? It's time to settle down and let Grampa Artie tell you a story." The man paused, looking tenderly at the girl, then began his story. "Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a man named Arthur, and his trusty steed, Trailer. They were guardians of a great castle known as Castle 13..."


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters and am not making profit from this story.**

**Edit: Sorry, I should have mentioned this chapter does involve child-birth. What can I say? It was inevitable.**

* * *

Thirty-seven weeks pregnant, Claudia was quite frankly enormous. She needed assistance even getting up to go to the bathroom and was more than ready to "pop," as she said. One morning, Artie and Vanessa were in the Warehouse, Pete and Myka were on assignment in Kentucky, Abigail was taking time off, and it was Steve's turn to stay home with Claudia.

"Look, I really don't need a babysitter," she said, for the third time that day, as he helped her back into bed.

"I know, Claude. We just want to make sure someone is with you in case something happens."

As the redhead got settled, she winced and shut her eyes.

"You okay?"

"Contraction," she said, clenching her jaw tightly.

"Just a Braxton-Hicks, right?"

She nodded, clutching her belly and breathed through the contraction. Finally, it stopped and Claudia laid back against the pillows, wiping sweat from her forehead. Steve handed her a glass of water, and she accepted it gratefully.

"Hey, what do you want for lunch?"

"I could really go for some grilled cheese or... uh..." Claudia got an odd look on her face. "Steve?"

"What is it?"

"Um... Pretty sure I didn't pee my pants... So I think my water just broke."

"What?!"

She whimpered as another contraction started. "Okay... definitely... the real deal," she choked out.

"Okay, uh..." Steve's eyes were wide with panic. "I'll put your suitcase in the car and we'll leave." When he came back from the car, Claudia had rolled over to her side and was moaning in pain.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, uh... it's two hours to the nearest hospital. I'm not going to make it that long, and I am _not_ having twins in the back of my Prius."

"Wait, we can't stay here!"

"...Don't really have any options, Steve." Her contraction ended after a minute. "Just help me get to the bathroom and then call Vanessa and Artie."

The overwhelmed agent helped Claudia to the bathroom, then ran back to get his Farnsworth from his room and called Vanessa, but she didn't pick up. Swearing, he called Artie.

"Steve, thank God! The Warehouse is freaking out and we can't figure out what's wrong with it."

"That might have something to do with Claudia being in labor."

"What?!"

"I need you and Vanessa to get to the B&B now. Claudia's in labor and I don't know what to do!"

"Get her to the hospital NOW."

"She says there's not enough time!"

"Wait, Steve, where _is _Claudia?"

"In the bathroom!" Steve was almost humorously frightened.

"Where are you?"

"In the bedroom... Why?"

"Are you crazy? Get in there and help her!"

"But I don't know how!"

"Well pretend you do. She needs to think she's in capable hands."

"Fine, okay. Can I talk to Vanessa?"

"She's on the other end of the Warehouse."

"Okay Artie, just... get here as soon as you can."

"We're on our way. Bye." As he hung up, Steve went back to the bathroom and found Claudia on the floor, breathing through another contraction.

"Artie and Vanessa are on their way."

"M'kay... good," the young woman said breathlessly.

"Claude, what do you need?"

"Help me get these pants off and run some water in the tub. It'll be easier in there."

"Okay," Steve said, and helped her off with her pants. At any other time, he would have been completely weirded out, but somehow between the fact that Claudia was three times her normal size and that she was whimpering in pain, the thought didn't occur to him. "Really Claude, you had to wear maternity skinny jeans?" He was finding it very difficult to get the tight fabric down her legs.

"Now is _so _not the time, Jinksy," she said, as they finally got her jeans off, then her underwear.

"I'm gonna call Vanessa again. Just breathe, Claude."

He filled the doctor in quickly as the tap ran.

"Okay, is she fully dilated to 10 cm?"

"How should I know?"

"Steve, check!"

He did, swearing under his breath. "Yup, she's definitely-yep. This was so not in my job description."

"Okay, you'd better get her into the tub." Steve put down the Farnsworth for a moment, lifted Claudia by her shoulders and helped her into the tub. The redhead was whimpering, face scrunched up in pain.

"Claude, just keep breathing, nice and steady."

"Easy for you to say, d-bag!"

"Don't worry, that's just the pain talking," Vanessa said, grinning despite herself. "Get a lot of towels and wait for the babies to come. Remind her to breathe and to push, and if the babies arrive before I get there, don't do anything with the cords. Oh- damnit. Artie!"

"What's wrong?"

"Artie just passed out. I'll have to call you back."

"Wait- Vanessa!"

The doctor hung up.

"Steve?"

"I'm right here, Claude."

"Don't go anywhere, okay? I need you here!" The redhead had begun to cry.

"It's okay, I won't leave you. I'm right here." He took her hand, and as her contractions intensified, she clutched onto him like a lifeline.

"Okay, this is officially happening," she said in a strangely calm voice, as she stared intently in front of her.

"Is it... Are they..."

Claudia let out a long, sustained yell as she pushed and pushed until she thought she'd fall apart.

Before Steve quite knew what was happening, there was a baby in the water. He scooped it out quickly, terrified of how small and red it looked. A shrill cry filled the room, and Claudia let out a sob. As Steve carefully wiped the baby off, he said "Claude, it's a boy."

She smiled through her tears. "Yeah?"

Steve nodded and laid the baby on Claudia's chest. The redhead stared lovingly down at the tiny, pruny infant, when she gasped, "Okay, round two." The second baby soon made its grand entrance, but this time when Steve lifted it out of the water, there was no cry. He felt sick.

"Steve, what's wrong?"

"The baby... it's not breathing."

"Thump it on its back!"

Steve did so, but still there was nothing.

"Do it again!"

Finally, a cry erupted from the baby, and Steve thought that was the best sound he'd ever heard in his life.

"This one's a girl, Claude," he said, placing this baby alongside the other on top of Claudia.

The young woman laid her head back against the rim of the tub and closed her eyes, smiling blissfully, and said, "They're perfect."

She gave birth to the placenta as Dr. Vanessa burst through the door.

"I'll take it from here, Steve."

"Okay." Everything that had transpired was catching up with Steve, and he felt a bit shaky as he left the bathroom.

Artie was standing outside, pacing nervously. "How is she?"

"She's good. Great."

"And the babies?"

"A boy and a girl."

Artie smiled. "I'm guessing the Warehouse is at peace again."

"Artie, Steve, I could use some help in here," Vanessa called from the bathroom. Both men went in, and Vanessa handed Steve the babies, whose umbilical cords were now cut, as she and Artie helped Claudia back to her bedroom.

"How are you feeling?"

"Kinda feeling like I just gave birth," the agent said, wincing as they helped her into bed.

"You did good, kid," Artie said, smiling tenderly at the girl as Steve handed her the two babies, and she began to cry again as she looked at them.

"These two... they're just..." She trailed off, staring in contentment at them. Soon, the new mother drifted off to sleep, her babies following suit, and Artie, Steve, and Dr. Vanessa stayed with her in comfortable silence.

* * *

**Did you like it? I haven't decided yet whether I'll write more chapters with Claudia-the-mom or not... We'll see. (: Thanks for reading!**


End file.
